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How Do I Know If My Child Is Dyslexic?

My brother Evan was in the second grade when his teacher, Miss Shaw, changed his life by reaching out to my parents. Miss Shaw was fresh out of college, and noticed signs of a learning difference called dyslexia in my brother’s struggles with basic reading. It had been easy for Evan to hide his struggles up to this point by memorizing his favorite bedtime stories. But by the end of the school year, after lots of testing, Evan became the first officially diagnosed student with a learning disability in our small rural school district. And my parents unexpectedly became frontline advocates in my brother’s quest for appropriate accommodations throughout his schooling.

So much has changed in the decades since Evan was first diagnosed with dyslexia. In my own children’s school district today, reading specialists screen all children before they even enter kindergarten for signs of dyslexia or other language-based learning difficulties. Dyslexia is one of the most common learning differences children face; current estimates indicate that as many as 1 in 5 children may have dyslexia. But unless your family has dealt with this firsthand before, it can still be an upsetting puzzle to untangle, and a bewildering diagnosis to navigate.

That’s why I’m publishing this guide to understanding dyslexia in children, so parents can better understand what dyslexia IS – and just as importantly, what it’s NOT.

This is a collaboration post. However, please know I stand behind everything written here, and only include links to products/services/resources I’m willing to recommend personally.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only. Always consult your healthcare provider, educational psychologist, or specialist before making decisions related to your child’s health or learning needs.

Understanding Dyslexia for Parents: What To Know

For some families, the first indication that your kiddo’s brain might be wired differently than “typical” brains might be the little things you noticed at home, but weren’t sure what to do with (more on those below). For others, the first clue your child may have dyslexia could come in the form of a heads-up from your child’s school, as was the case with Evan.

Either way, it can be confusing and scary to wonder what’s going on in your child’s head, and why they’re struggling so much with things that seem to come easily to other kids. This is especially true with a learning difference like dyslexia; most people who have dyslexia actually score average to well above average on standard intelligence tests. (It’s because of this tendency toward above-average intelligence that kids like Evan can sometimes fly under the radar and find ways to compensate for/hide their struggles for years.)

If you’re just beginning to notice signs that your child may be struggling with reading or writing, cut yourself some slack for worrying about what’s happening or feeling lost on how to help. By educating yourself on how dyslexia will affect your child’s learning, and how to help them learn best in spite of their unique mental circuitry, you can help set them up for a lifetime of success.

What Is Dyslexia?

Dyslexia is a lifelong neurological condition that affects how the brain processes written and spoken language. It mainly affects reading, writing, and spelling abilities. As I noted earlier, many children with dyslexia are of average to above-average intelligence, which can make these challenges especially confusing for families to work through. Children with dyslexia may have trouble recognizing letter-sound patterns, decoding unfamiliar words, or reading fluently. This can make many learning activities very difficult for dyslexic kids, and can make academic environments where language-based tasks are central a recipe for frustration.

Because there is a strong genetic component, dyslexia tends to run in families. Once my brother Evan was diagnosed, he became the center of attention at every family reunion because each summer, more cousins would come to him with a dyslexia diagnosis hoping for clues on how to manage their new reality.

It’s important to realize that there is no “cure” for dyslexia, and it’s not a “phase” or something your child will “outgrow.” Nor is dyslexia the result of poor parenting, poor teaching, lack of effort, or laziness. Although a dyslexia diagnosis is a lifelong condition, adaptive learning strategies exist to help children with dyslexia learn to read, write, and spell in spite of their unique brains. With the right instructional approach and plenty of emotional support, every dyslexic child can build the literacy skills they need to succeed in whatever path they choose.

Dyslexia Checklist for Children

Not quite sure what’s going on with your kiddo, but sensing something may be “off”? Here are some of the signs and symptoms that your child may have undiagnosed dyslexia:

Dyslexia in Preschoolers and Early Elementary School Years

Preschool through first grade is when children are building foundational language skills. If your child is struggling with these areas, or overcompensating by finding workarounds (such as Evan memorizing his favorite bedtime stories so he could “read along”), then these indicators could be early markers of dyslexia.

Signs to watch for include

Delayed onset of speech (Evan didn’t talk much until he was almost 3);
Challenges with learning the alphabet and identifying letters;
Confusing or mixing up similar sounds;
Difficulties with rhyming games or activities;
Frustration in following simple verbal commands;
Avoiding reading aloud, and “guessing” words rather than sounding them out;
Struggling to learn basic sight words, and lagging behind peers in reading development overall;
Continuing to mix up letters that look similar (p and q, b and d) past first grade, and writing letters or even entire words “backwards.”

It’s important to remember that children are not willfully being “lazy” or “not working hard enough.” It’s also important to understand their frustration as it becomes harder and harder to do certain learning activities, especially when they’re used to other things coming more easily for them (as is often true for children of above-average intelligence).

Dyslexia in Later Elementary Grades and Beyond

With the increasing structure and academic demands of each passing elementary grade, children with undiagnosed dyslexia will continue to struggle with learning activities that require a solid foundation of language and literacy skills. The “coping skills” they may have used previously, such as memorizing texts, will no longer work with the increased difficulty and variety of materials they encounter each day in the classroom.

Here are some of the signs your school-age child may have dyslexia:

Struggles to learn to read, and seems to lag behind peers in this regard;
Does poorly on spelling tests, spelling everything phonetically instead of learning correct spellings;
Takes forever to complete even simple reading assignments, because of the effort required, and struggles to remember or understand what they read;
Has difficulty writing, from organizing thoughts and structuring sentences to manually composing words on the page;
Writes illegibly, messily, or in long stream-of-consciousness “sentences” without proper punctuation or grammar;
Becomes increasingly frustrated with schoolwork and withdrawn at school;
Gets extremely anxious about tests and quizzes, and has difficulty completing assigned work on time.

As schoolwork becomes more demanding and your child struggles to keep up, they can show increasing signs of frustration, low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. This is why the sooner your child can be correctly diagnosed, the sooner you can work with them and their teachers on more effective learning strategies.

Dyslexia’s Emotional and Social Impact

While it would be great to think that everyone – from us as parents, to every teacher our child will ever encounter – has an open mind and heart, this is not always the case. (Though I like to think we’ve come a long way since Evan’s middle school gifted teacher dismissed him from the gifted program because she didn’t want any “dummies” in her class.)

It can be tempting for teachers, parents, and students themselves to assume that with just a little more effort, a little harder “trying,” students who struggle with language skills acquisition can overcome these challenges – and if they can’t, then the fault somehow lies with them. But nothing could be further from the truth, and the only thing this sort of attitude will do is set your kiddo up for failure.

Likewise, there is no point in trying to pretend that your child’s struggles don’t exist. Kids are incredibly sensitive to how they stack up in relation to their peers, especially in terms of academic performance. Many children become acutely aware of their differences early on and may feel embarrassed, discouraged, or left behind; this is especially true for students with dyslexia and other types of learning differences.

Without reassurance and support, these classroom struggles can affect your child’s self-esteem, leading to a lack of motivation and reluctance to engage in schoolwork. These reactions are understandable, especially if your kiddo feels that no amount of effort leads to improvement. Understanding that these challenges stem from how the brain processes language – and NOT a lack of ability – can help both you and your child mentally reframe the situation. Approaching your child’s difficulties with honesty and compassion are crucial to helping them rewrite their own internal narrative, and thus reducing the risk of long-term emotional impacts.

I Think My Child Has Dyslexia – Now What?

If you or one of your child’s teachers suspects your child may have dyslexia, the sooner you can take action, the better. See the tips I wrote in my step-by-step guide for what to do if you think your child may have a learning difference, which include

Keeping track of reading and writing challenges your child may face, including dated examples of school assignments that illustrate their struggles;
Writing down short anecdotes (also tracked by date) of specific struggles your child faces that may not be immediately captured in their written schoolwork, such as taking an exceptionally long time to complete a short reading assignment;
Touching base with teachers at your child’s school to see if the struggles you notice at home match what they’re seeing at school;
Exploring your district’s website to see what special education services (including diagnostic services) exist, and what steps parents need to take to request access to those tests/services for their child;
Creating a designated space – whether a notebook, three-ring binder, section of your bullet journal, or cloud storage folder – to document, compile, and organize every step of your child’s journey and struggles, including dates and names of interactions with your child’s teachers and school.

Depending on the policies in your state and/or local school district, you may have plenty of appropriate testing options available through your child’s school, or you may need to seek outside testing from an educational psychologist. If you end up going the latter route for whatever reason, your child’s pediatrician should be able to help with recommendations and referrals.

How to Help a Dyslexic Child At Home

Once your child receives an official diagnosis of dyslexia, there are many effective tools and methods available to help them overcome the obstacles they face in acquiring language skills. Structured literacy programs such as Orton-Gillingham have shown strong results in helping children with dyslexia build reading and decoding skills. According to the Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity, early identification paired with specialized teaching methods can greatly improve outcomes for students with dyslexia.

In addition to academic support, parents can explore assistive technologies like audiobooks, reading apps, and speech-to-text software. These tools can make reading and writing less stressful and help build confidence. Supporting your child emotionally by celebrating progress, however small, is just as important as any academic strategy.

If academic struggles are ongoing and emotional distress seems to grow, it may be time to bring in additional specialists. Speech-language pathologists, reading interventionists, and occupational therapists can provide tailored approaches to support learning and communication. Public schools may offer help through Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) or Section 504 accommodations, depending on the evaluation results and child’s needs. If your school doesn’t immediately offer these resources, follow the procedures on your district’s website for requesting appropriate IEP or 504 accommodations so that your child can learn most effectively.

Looking Ahead

With appropriate interventions and support as early as possible, children with dyslexia can not only succeed in school, they can thrive – both academically and in life. Just because people with dyslexia struggle to learn reading and writing doesn’t mean they can NEVER learn these skills; it will just take them a bit longer, using different techniques than most people, to get there.

People with dyslexia who gain appropriate support early on can learn to leverage their strengths in ways that help them overcome their specific learning challenges. For example, even as Evan struggled to read printed matter growing up, he has always been adept at “reading” other people; once he received his diagnosis, he learned that he’d often have to ask for help, especially from grownups, and be extra-patient in explaining to people (including most of his teachers) how his brain worked and how it was unique.

Evan finally learned to read in middle school, though he could still barely write a coherent sentence when he entered ninth grade. Despite this, he went on to graduate third in his high school class. He then earned a bachelor’s degree – with more honor societies and academic honors along the way than I can count – and has functioned effectively in a governmental managerial role for decades now. The skills that helped him survive school with dyslexia, from people-reading to delegating responsibility, serve him well every day on the job. And much to our family’s delight, he now LOVES reading bedtime stories to my two nieces.

With a collaborative approach and informed care, dyslexia doesn’t have to be a barrier. It can be a new path to discovering strengths and learning in a way that truly fits. Parents who stay curious, connected, and supportive give their children more than just academic tools; they offer resilience, confidence, and the belief that every challenge can become a stepping stone toward success.

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