Finally the time has come. All those months of stocking up on baby stuff are over. Your bundle of joy is home with you, and you couldn’t be happier. But there’s just one problem: you’re more exhausted than you ever thought possible. How come no one coached you on how to get sleep with a newborn at home?
Screaming babies and night feeds aren’t exactly conducive to getting the rest you need to function, let alone recover from childbirth and take care of your other obligations. But no matter how tired you are, it’s hard to sleep when you know you need to be up in an hour.
Your brain won’t stop reminding you of the laundry, dirty dishes, and everything else you could be doing while Baby naps. Or, perhaps you think too hard about the fact you need to get to sleep. Either way, by the time you finally doze off, Baby is awake again!
This is many new parents’ reality But it doesn’t have to be this way. I first became obsessed with quality sleep as a stressed student. By the time I became a parent, I already had an arsenal of tricks ready to go. If this is the first time you’ve really struggled with shut-eye as an adult, take hope: there are things that CAN work!
With the right techniques, you really can get to sleep at a moment’s notice. Here are some of my fave tips on better sleep. Try them to see which make a difference. If you still need more inspiration on how to get sleep with a newborn, I’ll link to other posts on sleep at the end.
This is a collaboration post. However, please know I stand behind everything written here, and only include links to products/services/resources I’m willing to recommend personally.
How to Get Sleep with a Newborn Baby:
Block out that light!!!
First things first: Sleep works best when our surroundings are dark. That’s basic biology.
Our body clocks depend on the sun. That’s why many of us struggle to get up on dark winter mornings, and find it hard to nap during the day. Even with the curtains shut, that light could be bright enough to keep you awake.
As such, block out all that light for starters. A cheap and easy way to do this is to invest in a sleep mask. You want a decent one that’s thick, with solid elastic and an extra flap of fabric at the bottom edge. (This blocks light creeping in at the bottom.) If you also like quiet, some masks have a front pocket to store your earplugs.
You also need light-blocking shades, curtains, and/or blinds. I have all three in our bedrooms, and keep them drawn all the time. That way, we all get the sleep we need when days are long. And whenever someone’s sick, a nap-friendly dark room is ready. With these drawn, and your eye mask on, you’ll sleep like it’s night even during the day.
Relax and unplug
Even a dark room won’t help if you can’t silence your thoughts. This means you may have to work at mentally unplugging for the night. Give these a try:
- Keep running to-do lists. It’s hard to remember things when you’re sleep-deprived, so they’re always floating around in your brain. Writing them down clears your head. You could start a Bullet Journal if you feel super-scatterbrained (as most new parents do),. Or place a notepad/pen next to your bed.
- Is Baby’s chatter keeping you in “alert” mode? Again, get some earplugs and USE THEM. Trust me, if Baby really needs you, you WILL hear that cry. Sleep is more important than hearing Baby’s cute gurgles.
- Others find calming background sounds from a noise machine helpful. To test out the idea first, tune an old analog radio to the static between stations. While my hubby and I prefer sleeping in silence, we got each girl her own own noice machine at birth, and they LOVE them. (Theirs is no longer available, but if I ever need a replacement, I’d get this one instead.)
- Still others use calming scents. Though not for us (Dear Husband’s nose is super-sensitive), many people find lavender relaxing and sleep-inducing. Adding lavender to something like these Aromatech scent diffusers could soothe you to sleep; I know people who swear by this. (Another way to accomplish this is by tucking dried lavender sprigs in that little front-pocket on your eye mask before bed.)
- Or try guided relaxation. My Fitbit Charge 2 comes with a built-in “Relax” breathing routine that I do every time I crawl into bed. (So does the newer Charge 3 model.) As soon as I’m done with the program, I usually doze right off.
Get comfy
When Baby’s on a feeding schedule, you won’t have time to toss and turn getting comfortable. So just skip that step:
- You’ll have better luck sleeping on a bed than on a sofa or in a rocker. When the girls were little, I had their future twin beds set up in their rooms even before the crib! It was more comfortable for nursing them to sleep at nap time. Plus, it was faster and easier for me to catch some shut-eye alongside them after I moved Sleeping Baby to her crib.
- You just can’t fall asleep if your feet are too cold or too hot. If it’s summer and they’re too hot, sit on the edge of the tub and run cold water over them. Too cold? Keep some slipper-socks on your bedside table. Now that it’s winter, I slip on my blue fuzzies each night.
- Keep the right pillows handy. When I was nursing the girls on their future bed, I found I needed two pillows under my head to be at the right height. And ever since using pregnancy pillows while pregnant with Essie, I can’t get to sleep unless I have something propped between my knees. To this day, I keep a small pillow right next to my bed, where I can reach down for it at bedtime.
- And for goodness’ sake, you need comfortable sleep clothes! Button-down fronts are easiest for night nursing, but whatever you do, treat yourself to some new PJs. After generating a new life, you deserve it! And besides, you’ll need something that fits your new body while you recover from labor/delivery (and possibly a C-section). Trust me. some pretty new sleepwear will cheer you up on those nights when you dread having to get up in a few hours for that next feeding.
Still need more ideas?
- If your infant is edging toward toddlerdom (or beyond) but STILL not letting you sleep, read How To Get Your Kid To Go To Sleep.
- Sensing that the other things on your plate aren’t helping any? See Why Mama Needs More Sleep (And What She Can Do About It!)
- Skeptical about the earplugs? See if Why All Parents Need Earplugs In Bulk is helpful.
- Still having trouble? Check out the tips in Sleep Better Tonight: Five Often-Overlooked Hacks.
OK, those of you mamas (and dads) who’ve already been around this block once or twice: What are YOUR best tips on how to get sleep with a newborn at home? Let us know in the comments!
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These are all great tips when trying to get to sleep. Cutting out the light is so important, as well as getting incredibly comfortable.
Absolutely!!!
Yes!!!
Calming scents and a routine are fantastic ideas! I have a friend due in two weeks so will share with her x
Thanks for passing along! 🙂
These are some great tips. Wish I had known some of these way back when my son was a baby, because sleep did not come easy in those days.
One of the parts of new-parentdom that I definitely DO NOT MISS.
Ah, my mom always struggle to get rest during that and she would love to know this. I think you will be her coach haha, Thank you for sharing!
You’re so welcome! 🙂
I love soft, relaxing music with nature sounds to fall asleep to. My son loved it too. My husband, not so much. And they say, sleep while the baby sleeps. This is so true. When you can’t sleep at night, at least you can nap throughout the day with your baby.
True! Sometimes my hubby wants to listen to talk radio on volume 1 to go to sleep/turn off his brain – me, NEVER. So he now wears earbuds to do this – problem solved 🙂
My youngest was a great sleeper as a newborn. It’s only recently that his sleeping has been a problem. I’m going to check out all those other links! This mama is tired.
Oh, Mama, I KNOW YOUR PAIN!!! Hope you find SOMETHING that helps!!!
Very well written post. You covered many details that Im sure others have questions about. We love the smell of lavender in our bedroom. My wife and I both have pillows that are made with half lavender and half buckwheat hulls. They are slightly heavy, but your head rests on top like a bean bag 😉 we love them so much!
Ooh, those pillows sound heavenly!
Oh goodness, I remember being so sleep deprived when my kids were babies! These are all great tips for new parents 🙂
That first year is all kind of a hazy exhausted blur for me, with both of them…
No, but seriously, ARE YOU WRITING THIS BLOG POST FOR ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! T-MINUS about 1 month!!! 😮
No, dear friend, but I WAS *thinking* of you while I drafted it!!! 🙂
I had twins and one was colicky for her first three months. We had a nanny, and my hubby and I took turns on the weekends when the nanny went home. Sleep? What’s that…? Lol.
Seriously, it’s an adjustment that gets better over time. I recommend patience and self care treatments.
YES YES YES! We eventually figured out that our eldest could only be explained by “colic,” and I had to go on a massive elimination diet with our second until she was a year old because things in my breastmilk (dairy etc) were giving her tummy issues that then messed with her sleep…
I totally agree and hear you about the to do lists. In fact in any situation it helps clear the mind and focus you too xx
Absolutely! 🙂
These are great tips! I wish I’d have read this before I had my daughter… I barely slept for 6 months!
Ohhhhh I remember those days…
I wish I had these tips when my son was born. It was so hard to rest with him. Heck he is 2 and still hard to sleep he is so full of energy he hates going to sleep and staying asleep. His bedtime is 7 and if he doesn’t nap he goes down perfectly and wakes up at 5 MAYBE 6.
Oh, lucky ducky you – been there, done that, still have two reluctant sleepers, but that is a whole ‘nother story for another time 🙂
I am so so glad I am past this stage with my boys! They will wake now and then but nothing like a newborn. The thing that worked the best for us was having a strict bedtime from the time they were only a couple months old. My boys are 3 and 5 and still have a bedtime of 7 pm. I love that Daylight Savings ended now because it’s dark in the evening and light enough during the morning that we can ride bikes to school.
SO COOL that you can bike to school! And oh how I wish I could have gotten mine to comply with a sleep schedule!!! (Believe me, I tried…)
I did a white noise to block out the sounds of life going on around me and wore sleep masks. I can’t sleep with light.
Me neither! (Nor, it turns out, can my eldest!)
Great advice! The white noise sound machine helped us a lot!
They are SO helpful!
Great tips! Oh how I do NOT miss those days!!!!
Re: the exhaustion and the diapers, I am in complete agreement!!!
It’s definitely a tough time! I remember everyone saying “sleep when the baby sleeps”, but that is just so hard. Thanks for sharing your tips.
You’re so welcome! 🙂
Amazing ideas. We have blackout blinds already and I always travel with an eye mask as hotel rooms are just too bright for me!
I must have at least a half-dozen good quality eye masks, and a gazillion more because my kids are forever misplacing theirs LOL…